THIS is...

Last week I was hanging out with some 

friends one evening and, my goodness, 

was I humbled. 

In the best way possible.

A dear friend of mine has been battling breast cancer.

She's won.

She's cancer free AND wowing the docs with her recovery and lack of pain!

Not only did she win the fight, but God has done miracles amidst it. 

The most recent?

The doctors prepared her to take 6 weeks off post-opp. She was back at work within a week.

Single ladies have to work ya'll!

Another miracle is that she felt GOOD enough to work! 

She didn't overdo it by going back too early. Nope, because God answered our prayers! 

THIS is answered prayers!

Tonight, another friend and I had a casual night in with our breast cancer-conquering friend and her dad. While Lindsay's servant-hearted dad listen to a sermon as he cleaned the kitchen, we had some long overdue gal pal time. 

Then, her dad suggested we play Kings on the Corner. Ummm YES!

Do you know how we ended the night?

They prayed for me.

There I sat, with tears falling, in such thankfulness for community. To my right, my friend was so fresh post-opp she still had tubes hanging down from her chest. To my left was my other friend who always has the richness and depth that oozes wisdom and grace. In front of me was my friend's father who has flown to spend weeks upon weeks with his daughter, praying over her and serving her over the last seven months.

THIS is friendship

THIS is community.

THIS is being the hands and feet of Jesus.

THIS is living as Jesus lived.

THIS is loving as Jesus loved.

After they prayed, asking God for healing and more miracles, how could we not bring it full-circle and give Him praise for the miracle woman to my right? She's not over her fight entirely but she's cancer free AND wowing the docs with her recovery and lack of pain! 

What a night.

THIS is Kingdom Living. 

 "I have heard your prayer and seen your tears;                           I will heal you."

2 Kings 20:5

The Silent Killer....BUT God

Endometriosis is a silent killer. 

It doesn’t come and enter into your life for a year... or two...or three...

It is here.

To stay.

Forever.

It doesn’t have the flare of the “c” word.

Yet it slowly eats away at you in similar ways.

Instead of the outward signs of “c,” there are inward signs.

Unending and unpredictable signs.

Signs that become so normal it’s a part of who you are.

Fight through pain.

Rearrange your entire life while trying to keep the old YOU alive. Your personality. 

The core of who you are. What makes you tick. What brings you joy and laughter.

Ohhh laughter.

The carefree times of late nights, vacations, adventures, time with friends, dancing….

Anything.

Fight to keep laughing.

Fight to keep joy. 

Fight to keep hoping.

Endometriosis drains the life out of you slowly. 

So slowly. 

After more last-minute cancellations,

More inconsistencies,

More setbacks,

More losses,

More dreams dashed,

More tears,

More grief,

More surgeries,

More recoveries,

More unknowns,

The domino effect from it all is crushing.

Endometriosis is a silent killer.

Killing dreams.

Killing relationships.

Killing your body.

Killing your daily typical take-for-granted life.

BUT…..

GOD.

HE is hope restored. 

Over and over again.

HE is hope renewed.

Another morning. Another day.

HE is hope reconciled.

Lament. Grieve. Wait.

HE is in the waiting.

It sucks. I hate it. 

Waiting makes me mad.

Seeing others succeed. Checking off the usual to-do’s in life. Making grand plans. Pursuing their dreams. Marking bucket lists. Their great loves found.

BUT.....

GOD.

The Lifter of my head. 

The Giver of life.

My Sustainer.

My Source of strength.

My Provider.

My Healer.

My Satisfier. 

BUT.....

GOD.

BUT.....

GOD.

BUT.....

GOD.

Real Talk

I was asked last night: "Are you ready for this week?"

"No. But I will be."

Did you know endometriosis is known to be in EVERY organ in the body? There are cases, albeit very few, where it is in the brain. Lord have mercy.

This weekend I "met" a woman whose lung collapses EVERY SINGLE MONTH due to endometriosis. 

Think about that. 

Think about living any sort of normal life. She can't have a life and is on disability. Will you please pray for her? I can imagine and cringe. My heart hurts for her. Doctors think my lung collapsed prior to my chest surgery and I didn't know it due to the extreme pain I'd been in constantly. YET, to think of my lung collapsing EVERY MONTH!? 

If you spend much time researching endometriosis you will see it is compared to cancer. A cancer that's not well understood. 

I am thankful I serve a God who gives me HOPE. Like everyone, I need to be reminded of that hope and our eternal joy.

This morning was one of those days. I awoke with a sense of dread. 

Real talk - this surgery is harder for me to swallow. I've had scarier surgeries for sure. Although my doctor has done a lovely job reminding me how the risks get higher the more surgeries I have. Her bedside manner is just lovely. 

This surgery brings a grief going into it for several reasons: 1. I'm losing more of my insides. 2. I know the pain involved in recovery from this type of abdominal surgery. 3. I know hormonally my body may make me like a postpartum woman post-op. (For those willing to be around me after, I warned you here!) 4. I am more knowledgeable in what this disease could look like in the future. 

I was sharing with a friend this evening that perhaps a reason I'm going through this is because there are not many voices filled with hope in the world of endometriosis. Please let me be clear, we can grief and cry but STILL be a voice of hope. It drives me bonkers when Christians never talk about their junk!

Yet, we have an anchor for our souls. 

Here's my journal entry I want to share. Please pray this and whatever the Lord may lead you to for myself and all others who are in pain this holiday season:

Lord, heal me. I confess I am scared. I don't want another season of recovery.

This is not how I wanted to spend Christmas. I want to be walking through festive lights, attending holiday parties, wearing ugly Christmas sweater with friends and have a merry ole time! 

[Yes, I wrote that part in my journal!] 

Lord, draw me closer to You in this season of waiting in multiple ways.

During this season of Advent, may my challenges lead me to pray for others 

while reminding me of the greatest suffering ever endured by One.

May I be filled with joy, hope, and love for You in new and meaningful ways.

Amen.

"Happy Thanksgiving! Keep smiling!"

I am thankful for humor.

Last year, during Thanksgiving week, I convinced my friend Lindsay to take Dino and Uni out and about around Estes Park.

People passed us, grabbing photos as we'd merrily say: "Happy Thanksgiving! Keep smiling!"

You know what the best part of the evening was? Watching others' reactions.

Lindsay and I were looking at one of the store fronts when a gentleman came running up to us. He asked what we were doing and WHY.

Naturally, I proclaimed: "To bring others unexpected joy!"

Do you know what happened next?

This man, looked at us smiling but with tears in his eyes and stated: "You two have made my week."

Just an hour prior he had shut down his restaurant due to mandates. He wasn't sad for himself. He was sad for his workers who had no where else to turn for an income. He hated it and felt helpless.

We took him up on his offer to see his unique steakhouse and bar. It is one of the oldest building in Estes Park and used to be a part of the main street hospital!

We sat at the bar, clad in our deflated costumes, listening to this man's story. Lindsay and I were wowed. You never know who you're going to meet and how God may use, even silliness, to spark up encouraging convos with strangers.

After a while we asked if we could pray for him. Please go ahead and picture that moment - a human headed dino and uni laying hands on a man and praying over him. Good stuff, right!?

Then we zipped up our outfits, turned on the fans, and walked out with our gigantic bag of cheese. That's another, less important, story.

 

 

We snagged a couple more pics, tucked our tails into our car, and headed to our home for the evening with a wonderful reminder to find joy in all things and to be thankful.

Also, if you ever have an opportunity to show up in a touristy mountain town dressed as a T-Rex and Unicorn, please, please, please do so!

Amazingly Scrumptious Zucchini Bread

I've been experimenting with anti-inflammatory baking. I LOVE sweets and breads you guys. A dear parent of one of my students has continuously provided me with large zucchinis to enjoy! I figured it was high time I figure out how to make zucchini bread that tastes as good as Grandma's, but is within my dietary needs.

I am not a food blog writer. They annoy me, actually. I mean, do people actually read the paragraphs upon paragraphs detailing the food? We just want the recipes people! 

Here is my gluten free and refined sugar free zucchini bread recipe:

Amazing GF/SF Zucchini Bread

• Just under 2C all purpose gluten free flour
• 3/4tsp baking powder
• 3/4tsp baking soda
• 1tsp cinnamon
• 1tsp sea salt
• 1C coconut sugar
• 1/2C agave syrup
• 3/4C melted coconut oil
• 1tsp vanilla extract
• 2 eggs
• 2 1/2C grated zucchini 

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a loaf pan.

2.Blend flour, baking powder and soda, cinnamon, and sea salt. In another bowl, whisk remaining ingredients. Combine bowls and mix well.

3. Pour into greased loaf pan. Bake between 40-50 minutes depending on oven. Bake until toothpick comes out clean. Depending on the type of flour used, the baking time may vary. 

4. Let cook then ENJOY!!

Happy 90th Grandma!

 

This woman turned 90 years young yesterday! (The gray haired one, not me FYI.)

I think she wears her age well. Hopefully it’s hereditary!

Last month I had some unexpected time with Grandma. I went home to surprise the fam during spring break and they gave me Covid! I'm not sure I'll surprise them again anytime soon! 

It was actually really sad. She ended up in the hospital for something else and we were all shocked she not only had Covid, but pneumonia as well. 

Yet, here she is all chipper and walking good as any 90 year old can hope at my cousin’s wedding less than a month later!  Later, she told me: “I guess I’m a pretty tough old broad huh?” Yep, I’d say so!

Dutch women and farm-raised women (who apparently make a habit of eating tons of chocolate) are feisty and tough. Grandma was raised by parents who went through the Great Depression and had also migrated to Pella from the Netherlands. I never knew my great-grandpa, but my great-grandma was sure a feisty lady too. I'm sure she instilled some of that strong-willed, nothing's-gonna-get-me-down character into my grandma!

Growing up, my grandparents were maybe about a mile away from me. They were my baby-sitters. I’d call them to just hang out and play games. When I started to cook they were my guinea pigs. Back-to-school shopping in Des Moines with Grandpa and Grandma to pick out a new school outfit for school every year was my absolute favorite!

 

They visited me a few times in college in Chicago, road tripped out to North Caroline when I worked on a guest dude ranch there one summer, drove out to Wyoming when I lived there, and made a few trips out to Colorado. I’ve joked had I lived in China five years earlier they would have flown there to visit! 

One of my favorite travel memories of Grandma was a quick trip the two of us took when I was college shopping. We flew to Portland and on the flight she hadn’t been away from Grandpa overnight in decades. Wow, right? I really only remember that moment on the airplane and her getting pooped on my a bird while we were roaming around. 

  

Grandma can be rather feisty and sassy....I know, I know....so can I.  As ya'll can imagine, that means we've had our fair share of disagreements over the years, but it also means we've had a lot of great times and chats! When I was a kid, I'd get in trouble for being too sassy with Grandma. They finally gave up because they realized that's how we bonded. Basically, I'm saying you can blame good ole Grandma for my sass!

 

 

Can you believe this lady, who still reads a TV guide from the newspaper, figured out how to Facebook years ago in order to stay in touch with her grandkids? She decided to take it up a notch this past year and had me teach her how to use Messenger. A couple months later, my cousin and her boyfriend taught Grandma how to use Zoom. Yep, that's right. My 90 year old Grandma has a laptop and is savvy on social media and video chat!  

In her 80s, Grandma experienced a lot of firsts:

• She got to go with me on my first flying lesson in a small plane and see our cute little town and her home from the sky.

 

 

• My aunt and Grandma came to visit over New Year's a few years ago and my aunt and I got to ski together for the first time while Grandma got to ride up a chair lift and hang out at the lodge at the top of Keystone. Finally, after all these years of hearing about skiing and, she got to experience a bit more of what a mountain day can look like!

• We couldn't believe it, but she let me and one of my cousins convince her to join in on a wine tasting. (Grandma is NOT into drinking anything other than coffee and OJ.) You can see in the photo with Zara how "happy" she was! ;)

 

• Grandma getting "told off" by Hawaiian Santa is one of my favs by far. If only Grandpa had been there to witness it! (Kidding, but it sure looks like it!)

Who would have thought an 80+ year old woman would get to do all this? 

I just wonder what God has in store for Grandma in her 90s!

I love you Grandma and I'm so thankful for all the wonderful, and unexpected, memories we've shared!