Trading in Outdoor Gear for Knitting Needles

A couple friends were determined it was high time I had a, shall we say, “adaptive adventure.” Bri, drove us to Avon to visit another friend, Christina. My goal was to simply be excited about reading in the mountains and have different scenery for a day! Meanwhile, the first thing Christina said Saturday morning was: "Vail has wheelchairs they let you borrow."

           

Ummm why does this keep coming up?!

A few weeks ago, my coworkers suggested we borrow a wheelchair from another ministry connected with Joy House so we all could get out of the house for a bit. I refused. This time, however, I was convinced. As LONG as we made it entertaining. Thus, Christina took the wheelchair off-roading!

Okkkkay....back up.

For those who follow my Facebook feed, remember the incredible first date to see Andrea Boccelli in concert? The one where I told him about my recent "groin exploratory surgery" and could barely walk as we were leaving? Gosh, I'm still so surprised I never got a call for a second date!

The exploratory surgery came about after returning from Zara's high school graduation in May. I had started having what I thought was the stomach bug. Later, I noticed a lump and begrudgingly went to a doctor. 

During surgery my Costa Rican Dr. McDreamy (there's another story for ya, right there) found a cyst to remove and noticed a second cyst he was unable to get to. After more tests and having far too many specialists tell me I'm "complicated," they determined I have a severe case of endometriosis, but they're confident it will be helped with another surgery now that we know what's going on. 

I guess it was "complicated" because I've never had a single symptom related to this prior to late May. They were all surprised because everything seemed to go from no problems whatsoever to what-the-heck-is-wrong-with-my-insides-do-something-about-this-pain-NOW.

I just can't wait to be dressed like this again...

Since May I've gone from climbing several times a week and gearing up to start working on conquering those 14ers to knitting in my oh-so-comfy chaise lounge. More than ever, I'm thankful to live and work in the same place, as well as to have a house filled with ladies who periodically pop by. 

My co-workers have come into my apartment, found me knitting, and have responded numerous times saying: "Ahhh, Heather that's so sad!" Geesh, thanks a lot ladies! To clarify, it's not because of my pitiful knitting skills, but because they can readily see how much time I have had on my hands these days!

Friends have been amazing at coming to hang out at my place, bringing me food, taking me out when I feel up to it, and checking in. Truly, I am incredibly thankful! One friend took me to the Rockies game a few weeks ago. We ended up hanging out in the handicapped section. 

Seriously, I'm beyond ready to start climbing mountains instead of hanging out with the wheelchair crowd! Another friend invited me to see my favorite movie to view at Film on the Rocks. See the man in the flight suit with the hat? He was a prince. He saw me struggling, wouldn't take no for an answer, and promptly lifted me up to carry me towards my seat. I mean, given the fact we were clad in costume, I think it was actually rather picture perfect. Oh well, missed photo ops. 

Truth is, I've had some long, hard weeks and it's been getting worse while I wait for surgery. After the fun-filled day joking about mountain climbing vs. wheelchair off-roading, I ended up in the ER due to crazy intense pain. It was the first of two visits in one week. For a gal who avoids medical docs and prefers all things natural, this is weird. 

It's been difficult knowing how to communicate all that's been happening due to personal fears with people thinking I'm whining and complaining. At the urging of those who have been walking through this with me, I'm asking for prayers. I am a people person to a fault. It’s become more apparent than ever, my self care is getting out, being active, and enjoying time with God in His creation. In my current job, I’ve come to appreciate it even more! 

One morning a couple weeks ago I awoke determined to get out of my funk. After having some intentional quiet time, I felt these months are an opportunity for spiritual renewal and refreshing. I mean, normally I'd go to the mountains for that but, okay God...

Seriously, though, while it's been an altogether challenging summer physically and emotionally, it is remarkable to be able to say, "God, I'm done. I'm done with my crummy mood. I'm done with the tears. Things are not going to be improving for a while, so change my heart. Now, talk to me please." 

Wait. Listen. Pray some more. Listen some more. 

Then, for me, I knew I needed to write it down and text my change of heart attitude to a few friends. I needed some loving accountability if I got in another funk! Meaning, "Please give me space to be sad, frustrated, and to vent but don't let me stay there. Remind me of this moment." You know? 

OBVIOUSLY, I left that prayer time thinking: "WOW! I'm going to be SO productive! I'll finish my Romans studies, start some other studies, read lots of non-fiction, be more creative, fill a couple journals, finally put together some photo books of adventures, etc." 

Reality: It's much harder to be productive while in pain and on meds! Hanging up a few clothes, chatting with women in the house, and watching "Designated Survivor" was about as productive as today was for me. BUT, I'm trying to allow myself the grace to be unproductive and rest in an inactive way. 

The painting above is a helpful reminder (when I choose to see it as such!) I painted it earlier this year as an abstract depiction of a theme the Lord gave me for 2019: OPEN.