Postponed Living

Confession: 

I've been in a major funk. 

That's hard for me to admit and sometimes takes others to point it out. I'm the smiley, go-with-the-flow gal!

You know what I've discovered?

Quarantine life is a lot like recovery life and life with pain. You stay home. A LOT. You don't see many people. You get creative in how to stay entertained. Finally, for those of us extroverts, you hopefully discover life isn't too bad all by yourself!

A friend told me the human body can only take so many life-changing decisions at once. She had all sorts of great science behind it, which sounded wonderful and affirming. I was thankful she shared, but had to keep making pretty significant decisions at the time.

I was handling everything like a champ: 

• News - an air pocket in my lung 
• News - endo spreading to my lungs/diaphragm and needing a couple surgeries
• News - if my left lung collapses, it could lead to heart failure w/in minutes 
• News - a hysterectomy is not off the table but "tabled" currently 
• News - unexpectedly let go from a job I loved 
• News - needed to move in order to be settled before surgeries
• News - birthday celebrations being delayed I really was craving that boost before going under the knife a couple more times
• News - indefinite postponing of surgeries

I thought I was prepared for that last bit of dreaded news, but it ended up being the final straw. Enter in --- my slow realization I was in a funk.

BUT, let me tell you about last week:

One of my favorite character traits of God is how He tenderly pursues us.

Another is His lovingkindness.

That funk had me deeper than I had realized, especially after a long weekend of terrible, sometimes scary, pain leaving me wondering a couple times how smart it was to push through and avoid the ER due to COVID or go.

It sucked.

  

Then, came some unexpected calls from a church I used to work at. You guys, they blessed my socks off and paid my April rent!!!

Another day, I was briefly FaceTiming a friend and a frustrating symptom of some of my meds came up. She whipped online and ordered me a supplement to start taking for you medical folks out there, don't worry it's safe with my meds.

Next, I was talking with a dear friend I worked with in China. She's been reading a book she thought I'd like. It's easy-to-read, enjoyable, and relatable. She got on Amazon and ordered me a copy. The book is, indeed, perfect for where I'm at.

Church friends got me groceries. Another lady from church that I've yet to officially meet sends me Marco Polos and doesn't mind that I sporadically respond or randomly cry in them. 

Volunteers from my time at Joy House have been faithfully praying for me are continuing to send me prayers and words or encouragement.

Another friend brought me a surprise bouquet of flowers and a couple others made me chicken soup and brought some of my favorite foods!

You guys, my love language is not typically gifts.

However, last week, the Lord tenderly reminded me of His care, provision, and faithfulness through the gifts, sacrifice, kindness, and thoughtfulness of old and new friends and the greater Church community. 

He reminded me I AM loved, thought of, cared for, and to be STILL and....REST mentally and emotionally as much as physically right now.

Oh yeah, how could I forget??

When you're an ENFP, Enneagram 7, blah blah blah blah blah....and you realize you're in a funk but can't do your typical go-to extravaganzas or even your plan b, c, or d options you simply MUST call in reinforcements.

Ask for a belated birthday present in the form of multiple inflatable costumes.

It happened.

I could not be more thrilled for some much needed laughs!! Stay tuned for some hysterical footage...